Monday (December 14th): Modi the Grinch

Narendra Modi

Name? Narendra Modi

Westphalian identity? Indian

Age? 70

Why is he in the news? Three months ago, Modi’s government implemented a set of laws deregulating India’s agriculture sector. These laws allow farmers to sell their produce to private buyers beyond government-run markets, where farmers receive a minimum price for their crops. The farmers claim it creates an opportunity for large, private companies to enter and exploit the entire agriculture sector. 

Why do we care? The agriculture sector contributes nearly 15% to India’s 2.9 trillion dollar economy and employs about 700 million people. Such importance has led to 19 days of countrywide protests by farmers.

Why should you care?  India is the largest producer of spices and the second-largest producer of rice. You may only feel the effects of this in a few months, but you will feel them when you order butter chicken from your favourite restaurant and suddenly it tastes like US American bread… 

Who else cares? Pakistan’s Prime Minister Imran Khan has tried to use the farmer protests for his own agenda by changing the narrative against India, saying it is “undermining democracies in the region.” PM Khan has gone so far as to call India a “rogue state.” He is aiming to gain the upper hand in a war of words between India and Pakistan’s “cross-border terrorism” and the disputed region of Kashmir.

What Christmas character is Modi? The Grinch planning his day

16:00 Wallow in self-pity about his pal Donald losing his election

16:30 Stare at the protests and ignore them

17:00 Solve world hunger, tell no one, or cause a rice crisis, depending on your mood. 

17:30 Jazzercise, shake the negative vibes of the protests off

18:30 Dinner with Modi, he can’t cancel that again, as long as he still has food

19:00 Wrestle with Pakistan-loathing until he falls asleep

That’s it, Modi is booked.

Joshua Dario Hasenstab

General Coordination Communications